This would NEVER have worked for me. When I felt that the R was suffering, that everything was falling apart, the LAST thing I wanted was sex and physical contact. It felt crass and oblivious and self-centered on H's part given the reality of where we were at.
Women (if we are going to generalize here) want to feel emotionally secure and connected and then physically connected...
Unless you have full confidence in yourself (which no one posting their sitches on here has) I would not touch that one. Maybe that is what you miss Robx, you can't just tell a guy who is flailing to do this stuff. You are taking a valid position but applying it to a context that it just usually does not fit into.
Keep pushing the physical and the W feels more like an object, less understood and de-valued.
Oh, and women know what a foot rub offer means...
That is just my opinion, don't want to argue about it.
So am I reading any of this correctly, men aren't allowed to ask for sex just for sex itself?
So when the WAW's are having physical affairs with OM that don't happen to include their actual husbands it's because these OM have connected to them on an emotional level and it isn't just about new & exciting sex?
So men should stop pursuing sex from their wives when their wives show disinterest in them?
Here's another question I'll throw out there: If a man asks his wife for sex, purely for sex - is that a bad thing?
And another question: How long should a spouse (man or woman) remain in a sexless marriage and lie say that sex isn't important to them?
Alot of married men associate love from their wives with the physical act of sex - so when their wives withhold sex, couldn't it be viewed as those wives not being emotionally supportive of their husbands? And since women tend to be more emotionally intuitive than men, this fact is known to them so when they withhold sex from their husbands they know that they are also withholding to some extent love as well and they know this hurts their men but continue to do so.
This whole emotional security issue is a vicious circle and we need to admit it. Women want to feel emotional security and connected and then physically connected while men require the physical connection to feel emotionally connected.
AAK, men require confidence in themselves and that is what I'm preaching here, nothing more, nothing less. The confidence to ask for what they want, the confidence to speak up when they're being disrespected, the confidence to stop doing things that don't yield productive results, the confidence to let go of the people that don't value them and the relationships they're in with them.
Some women will take a footrub as a footrub, some will take it as something more, if she accepts your offer of a footrub, don't complain and just enjoy the footrub for what it is - that is all I said.
That is MY opinion and I'm not arguing with anyone.
