OK, sending an SOS! My H is really pushing now, and I have been doing my best to delay getting together to "talk" because he wants a D. Last week was totally the week from hell at work & with broken water heater at home, dog getting skunked there's more but I won't waste time on all that.

My DB coach suggested at our last mtg. that I ask him to put his thoughts in an email so I have time to think about it. Also since our anniversary was yesterday, & I knew that would be hard to get through. So got through the anniv. OK, took my niece & nephew w my sisters to the science museum & to see a movie. Had a nice day. So today, I open his email. Some choice excerpts:

First he expressed some annoyance that we couldn't get together last Sun. because I did some GAL & didn't feel like ruining another weekend day.

"I know this isn't what you want to hear and I'm very sorry, but I'm done with the marriage. I've said that the last 3 times we've talked and we don't seem to go forward from there. I also know this seems sudden to you but I've been carrying my dissatisfaction around for a couple of years. I don't know why I didn't say something sooner... I guess I hoped things would get better. Regardless, I didn't say anything and I should have. That's my fault but something I can't undo.
In talking to the attorney, she suggested that the cheapest and best way to do this is as a dissolution. That means we have to agree on everything (the house, the stuff in the house, the dogs, etc...). He says we need to sit down and figure all that out. Also he doesn't think it's a good idea to try and sell the house now so we'd have to decide who wants it and what that entails. (May I add here that our house has a rental property vacant since last Sept., that he has been pushing to get a tenant in the last few wks., before I knew of his wish to end the M. I know he wants the $$ since he's been out of work since June but doesn't really seem like a good time to further complicate our situation to me!)

He says he wants to start the process. "And continuing what we're doing is only keeping us both in limbo and (I think) generating false hope for you."

He added that he wanted to meet on Sun. (our 11th anniversary!!!) and discuss this! Says he wants to get "the process started next week" (now this week!) and he'd rather we talk through things before I file.

I am seeing a lawyer today at 1, my co-worker referred me to her. Something is making him push this now, could be his friend who wants his house back to himself, or has told him how great divorced life is (as he's done it 3 times himself).

I have kept repeating that I don't want a divorce, can't stop him. Re working on the marriage, he states there is nothing to work on. Guess I'll have more legal info after I meet w lawyer but for those who have been in this position, what did you do? Feeling in need of some reinforcement. Is there anything I can do or do I just let him go ahead w his "filing" & keep my stance? After emailing my sister I came right to the board - I feel like folks here understand. If someone told me in Feb. I'd be here today I would say they were crazy. Even though he left the last Sun. in March, part of me still can't believe it's come to this. Thanks to all the great people out there who share their hard-won wisdom & advice.