WAW Using God

[pigskin]

Just an update on my situation as I haven't posted in a while.

My 180 is to be caring, compassionate, and loving. And to listen without trying to fix my wife's feelings; to validate them. While I don't believe I was none of those things before, I will say that I certainly was pretty distant. Not in a mean way, just more like, "ok, you have a problem, here's how to try to fix it."

My wife responds very well to my 180s. And I love the man it has helped me become. Unfortunately it is all still too new to my wife, it seems foreign, she doesn't know if it will stick, and she still is wondering how I could turn on a dime like that. She has never said the marriage is through or that she wants a divorce. The worst I have gotten is the ILYBINILWY. She doesn't know if romantic feelings for me will return.

We had a wonderful time on our vacation and got along great. I noticed an email and string of replies to the OM shortly afterward (yeah, I guess I was snooping) but the weird thing was, all of the lovey dovey talk was on his side ("I love you, you mean the world to me, blah, blah, blah"). I saw nothing on my wife's replies that returned that sentiment. She's not said that she's ended her EA, and I don't know if this is wishful thinking on my part, but it WAS interesting.

My concern is now that she's back at work where the OM is, any progress we've made, no matter how infinitesimal, will be wiped away as soon as she sees him.

It sucks to have to wait this out, but prayer definitely helps when I'm feeling bad about our relationship.