Is it time to start piecing?

[Hope4us]

GIMA,

I know it seems like an eternity, trust me, I know, but from your sig line it's only been since April that the bomb was dropped. That's no time in things like this.

Like I posted to you before, my W had an A that ended in April 08. Whether there's an A involved or not, for it to only be since April with any WAS is nothing. Not what you want to hear, but it's fact.

My W didn't start even talking to me for 2 months after her A ended. 6 months later she couldn't even tell me she wanted to TRY. It's been over 17 months since the A ended and we finally seem to be getting over the hump. It was a good 9 months after her A ended that I started to see a change in her feelings.

That's why I advised setting a deadline for yourself. If you analyze every action/conversation every time they happen, you'll drive yourself nuts. You have to look at your relationship over LONG periods of time and judge how things are. Because in those long periods of time there will be things that make you go WTF? But overall, things may be improving.

Don't worry about no R talks. In fact, that's a good thing. And it's even better that she hasn't mentioned D. Her not mentioning D means she's not sure of what she wants. And that gives you more time to make an impression on her that makes her want to stay.

Look, she didn't get into WAW mode over night and she's not going to get out of it overnight either. She was SO SURE she wanted to walk away that she dropped the bomb on you. For those feelings to change it will take TIME.

I suspect, right now, she's having second thoughts on the marriage and is just observing. Women do that. Observe. And that's a good thing for you. Not mentioned D in 4 months. Good. She's confused. 4 months ago she was SURE what she wanted, but now, not so much.

NO PRESSURE. Be there for her when she'll accept you being there and when she's not in the mood for you, GAL, give her the space she needs.

Can't promise it'll work, but if you're not going to give her an ultimatum (and the risks involved), it's the only way.

Hope this helps.