Is it time to start piecing?

[Hope4us]

So, the dynamic seems to have changed. I have been working on detachment for the last several weeks. And, then, it just happened. Inexplicably, I reached a point where I just don't care what eventually happens. I'm not giving up, I just no longer will invest any of my energy in being concerned with what W eventually chooses to do.

The issue is that I can sense my feelings for my W waning. I can appreciate the whole my love bucket is empty thing. This is not something I am doing intentionally, just something I notice.

Is it a common issue for the LBS to reach a point of not wanting the WAS anymore? At some point, if the WAS does not indicate somehow that they want to work on the M, I can see how the LBS could have a change of heart.

Maybe this is the wrong board for this particular issue, but I appreciate any input.

GIMA, I think it is very common for this to happen. Just read the many sitch's on this board. WAS announces they're not happy and plans to leave the LBS. Many times an A is involved. Haven't been happy for years, blah, blah, blah.

LBS picks themselves up off the floor and begins to GAL and plan for their future without WAS. WAS sees this and begins to think they made a mistake, but still leaves LBS in limbo. LBS begins to figure out they deserve more than what they're getting and detaches more. WAS sees this and doesn't like it and gradually begins to start heading back more towards the marriage, but the LBS has got to the point the WAS was at when they dropped the bomb.

Question is, can/does the original LBS want to give marriage a try and if so, do they have the patience necessary for BOTH the WAS' and LBS' feelings to return?

If I could give you some advise...decide what you want. If it's to save your marriage, set a deadline for yourself. Decide that you will have all the patience in the world and not PUSH anything, but take it as it comes for that time period. Then evaluate where you are as a couple. During that time period, no wishy washy thinking allowed. You're in it 100% for that time period. When it's over, see if there's been progress and if so, decide if you can go longer and set another deadline. If there's been progress but you've run out of gas, make your decision then.

Hope this helps.