I feel the very same way. My relationship with my STBXH is quite over, but I know that in my future there will be someone and I am a much better person for having gone through what I have. I know more about what loving someone really is and I know more about communication and how very important it is simply because I don't want to keep repeating my past. It's a work in progress and definitely something that will take time, but I and my present and future relationships with all the people in my life are so worth it! I wish you peace!
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
