Don't think it. Know it! You have come such a long way in finding out how very strong you are. I applaud you! I do admit that we do need to look at our relationships and see what our mistakes are, but I am of the same opinion that a lot of the people on this site are not the horrible spouses the WAS tries to make us believe we are and we end up trying to accept the blame for their weakness. There is no excuse in my eyes for breaking your marriage vows and having an affair. If you honestly are not happy in your marriage you should either a) be strong enough to let your partner know that something is wrong and look to counseling or b) leave. I read an interesting article on cognitive dissonance and it totally opened my eyes as to what a person's mind does in order to justify doing something morally reprehensible like cheating, doing drugs, and the like. WASs don't want to feel as if what they did is so bad. And it's easier to hurt someone else and believe that the LBSs are the bad people and the LBS made the WAS do this in order to be able to live with themselves and their guilt. It's why WASs act as heinous as they do. It's to alleviate their own feelings about what they are doing and have done.
Right now in my STBXH's eyes, I am a cold calculating beyotch. I did not play nicey nice and roll over and let him have the easy way of getting his citizenship. I have paid a huge price for the lessons I have learned in my life and I will no longer be the person who makes his life any easier. His choice was to leave. It's my choice to let him live with his choices. Is it to be mean to him? No, it's actually so I can live with myself at the end of the day. He lost my friendship when he continued texting my ex bestfriend when I told him it was inappropriate and become more than "just friends" and left me and my children. My friendship included helping him out when he was in need. He chose to stop being my friend and so lost my help.
A&K, you will get here. You will get to this point.
Stacey, I added you on my FB. So if you got a request from a Shawna with the last initial F. That would be moi!
Anyone else can feel free to add me. I don't have too much to say here as I am not trying to save my marriage and I feel as if I am a Debbie Downer! LoL I do wish you all the best of luck!
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
