Steve, Separation is easier in some ways, but not to your advantage overall. If you want to give your M a chance, do what you can to discourage separation, while making it clear that it is her decision and you will not stand in her way if that is what she decides. This does not mean that you have no chance if you separate; it only means that you should not do anything to encourage it, because that triggers things like "You forced me out of my house!" You have a fine line to walk, because although you should try to avoid separation if possible, it is very important to make it clear that you are not fighting with her about it or trying to control her. The line to keep repeating ad infinitum is, "It's not what I want, but the choice is up to you."
DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT, under any circumstances, agree to leave your home without legal orders or give up at least half time with your kids.
Oh, and try to stop discussing the sitch with her family, because they will almost always see you as the bad guy, no matter how totally around the bend she might be. Try not to say anything bad about her, especially to her family. Trust that the truth will come out in the end, although it may take a while. It is not your job to see that it does. If you go about your business and do what is right, in the end the truth will be clear to everyone. It's that interim part that is difficult!
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
