Maria((((((((()))))))))) I have been reading and I am so sorry for all that is happening. I had hoped you had finished finding out about the "past" and all the lies and betrayal. I maybe in the minority here but I truly hope that that was the last file you open. I am not sure at this stage it is helping you,indeed it is hurting you big time and will continue to do so for a long time to come. I see those words burning into your soul. You have all you need now to go ahead with your D and I would think more than enough evidence/ammunition to file.
I understand your need to confirm all your fears and thoughts,to validate all the feelings you had before. To prove that you were right that he was not interested in reconciling and why. I also needed to know things,prove the lies I had been told. Please for your own sanity and well being you know enough, more than enough,try to stop now. You can never undo what you now know and the more you know I do think it will be so much harder to eventually let it go.
As I said I maybe the only one who thinks like this, but I worry about you. Yes you have been strong but we all have our limits. Why store memories and facts that will haunt you, once you have read those words they are not easily if ever forgotten.
I hope the drive home went well and your childrens chatter kept you mind on the actual journey. Please look after yourself and just love your children. They will be how you survive this madness.
