Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[BigJohn]

Hello everyone, I'm back home with the kids.... and my W. A lot has happened the last few days, so I'll try to condense as best I can.

Following my previous post and before I left, I learned that my BIL had sent OM an email ripping into him for his involvement in the EA/PA in response to the prior TM my W sent so OM could laugh. OM responds to BIL by threatening violence against my BIL, then my W follows up with a phone call to my BIL to tell him in essence that he (BIL) is a punk, that OM is a "bad dude"/dangerous who will beat BIL's a** if OM ever sees him. More reason for me to fly to Utah.

So I flew into Salt Lake City covertly last Thursday A.M. Only told my mom and aforementioned BIL right before leaving. Had consulted a family law attorney beforehand regarding what I was doing along with the local DA's Child Abduction Unit and covered all of my bases. Photocopied my vehicle registration showing I am the only registered owner of our vehicle. The only "unknown" was the local police department in Utah where my in-laws live and how they might react if my W did not cooperate with me taking the kids and the car. Checked in with the local PD and they said "no problem". Called my in-laws house ahead of time, my MIL answered the phone- only she and FIL were there- W and kids were out for the day.

Got to the house and visited with MIL and FIL for about 1 hr. before W and kids roll up. W did a double take and got upset- predictable. W started quizzing me on my travel plans back home and I kept quiet about it, stating my purpose there was "as a father", nothing more or less. She asks where I am staying- I say I'll get a hotel- she says "no", I can stay at the in-laws, she'll stay with her sister in town. W refuses to talk and leaves with D3 and I spend the night with my 2 boys.

The next day I talk to W and D3 is sick, was throwing up the night before at SILs apparently due to exhaustion/lack of sleep. I go over to my SIL's house and confirm D3 is too sick to travel. W is not happy as she is tending to D3 and not going out to have fun. W demands to know why I'm there and I advise due to concerns over our kid's welfare. W thinks otherwise, acts very badly towards me and states she is going to D me "as soon as possible" as my surprise trip there further supports her reason to do so, blah, blah. blah- whatever. (As a side note, things were not as bad- relatively speaking- as I thought at the in-laws with the kids and what she was doing- I still don't blame myself for doing what I did.) Whatever. Argued a while with W before spending the day with my boys doing fun stuff. Before I leave SIL's, I take possession of the car keys. W is pissed off but I don't care and don't trust here.

That evening W trys to push D3 on me to babysit and take possession of our vehicle so she can drive back to SIL's house to "rest". I refuse and offer to drive her back to SIL's but she refuses, insisting she want the vehicle for herself. (Obviously she wants to drive over to see OM who hides in the shadows during my entire visit. More on that later.) So I drive her back to SILs minus the car and D3- who I tend to and get to bed at the in-laws. W rips into me again badly and she states that she is going to "make me pay" for coming out to spoil her vacation. Whatever.

The following morning, I advise W of my intention to take our car and kids back home with me- she can stay at her parents or OM's place, I don't care- I'm leaving w/out her, she can stay. W freaks out, calls the local police who respond and advise me that I can't "abandon" my W with no car at her parent's house- they don't want her there and for some reason she can't stay at OM's house. I relent and agree to not "abandon" my W at the in-laws house- she'll drive back with me.

Before we left Utah, I told W that since she had apparently made her choice(OM), I was going to look to separate from her ASAP when we get home- I need to be able to focus on work and the kids now and don't have time to spare dealing with my W and her various problems/issues. My W backpedaled a little bit stating that OM was not the issue- she "just want's to be happy" and "needs time" to figure out how she is going to move out. I didn't get into a debate over anything with her- just got in the car with her and the kids and left. No discussion with my W the entire way home.

Since coming home today, my W kept a low profile before going to bed early. She knows I'm serious about her moving out and she doesn't know what she is going to do. Finding a place to live is her problem not mine. So my position at this point with my W is this: either drop OM cold turkey with no contact now and work with me on our MR or she is leaving.

I'll post more later. I'm still tired from the drive home. I'll check in later.