Maybe, if it gets to it, part of your custody negotiations should include substance testing!
I even asked my H if he was on drugs when he was in the midst of everything he was pulling. A federal law enforcement officer was acting like a meth head! I was at a loss to explain his behavior, so I gave up!
I think that she is in a fog. She doesnt trust her own judgement, or understand her own decisions.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
maybe... ofcourse we kept talking i told her again that i only was being her friend and the comments were not needed. I told her even if i thought there was ever going to be anything more we had to be friends first I said she even told me that befor. i then told her that i have never asked her to come back since she first left.
she responded with yeah I know you never asked me to come back..
So what is she trying to get a reaction to see if i care?? if i want more than im leading on? but the hug was very cold. befor they were very tight and you could tell more to them today felt like yeah hug a friend kind
oh and she is dressing like one of the kids wearing some rag thing on her head she looks like a maid ready to scrub the toilet
Oh my. I cant stand people who are younger than I am, 21 is just about my limit. I always blamed it on working in the liquor store, but its not that, people who are younger than that really are stupid.
I wonder if shes having a sort of quarter life-ish crisis? I just realized the other day that wow, 30 used to be OLD! I wonder if this is sort of the same thing, just on a bigger scale.
She had her first child when she was 21 (right?), I wonder if shes wondering what she missed and is living vicariously through these people.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Idk why but this time it bothers me so much. It's not like I expected her to say she wanted to be M but I think it must have to do with how well we were getting along and then she had to make sure to day something mean
well I cant get past yesterday. I was doing so well through all of this and now i feel like i allowed myself to go back to square one. I saw W today but she was driving the other way with one of the younger kids with her. it made me upset because she should have been at work and I think she blew today off.
I told her I saw her and i kept it cool. she asked when and where I told her then she said oh i missed ya? and i said yeah you were buisy talking and missed the stud in the firebird. she sent a smilie back.
so now I decided to sighn up for the phone coaching today in hopes i can turn this all around and get myself in a better spot. from what i hear this will be worth every penny so I hope i at least feel better when im done
oh forgot i was with her brother today and to my surprise he started right away with his sister and how she thinks she is a kid again, what she is doing is messed up and he was just talking about it flat out. I told him i was happy she finnally was showing interest in her kids and he said yeah but none of the family understands what she is thinking.
well had the coaching it went ok.. I should bassically keep doing what i am doing its good that she wants so much contact and i need to keep up having her call me. (I need to do this so she misses the kids and me) I need to be her friend and keep the lines of communications open. I need to keep working on reflective listening and not talking about the past even if she brings it up.
she belives she is reverting to her past because she had to grow up too fast with parents who drank and a little sister she had to help out with... then having our first daughter at a young age forced her to grow up.
her contact and fighting with me is sorta a good thing because she still loves me and wants to be friends shows she has not truily given up. but it sounds like this will take a very long time
I had a phone call from her this morning and it started out very bad.. bassically it was a finish to a fight from sunday.(boy I tried to stop that ASAP) then she still was very insistant we are friends and saying there was not going to be anything more.. I told her i agreed we need to be friends... she wants to see how we do for a week and then see where we are. (boy she has this all thought out!)
we did end the phone call talking about normal stuff from when we were little and we both went to this one local park as kids (never togeather though as we did not know eachother) sure seemed good though till she had to let me go cuz a co worker came in and she is not to be on the phone got her normal texts through out the day.
I guess that thats true! If shes mad at you, thats better than her not caring at all isnt it?
Good job turning the phone call around. So she wants to try the friendship for a week and see if you are still friends, or she wants to try to be more for the week?
I really think that it will take a long time, but dont forget that your M didnt get unbearable for her in a few months, it took years, so dont expect any improvement in a matter of months.
But Im glad that the phone coaching went well! Do you think that you really gained anything from it?
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
When we were fighting and she said she wants to keep me as a friend and she does not want to loose me, I told her she does not treat me like a friend. I told her friends talk and hang out. I also said it's hard for either one of us not to talk about the past... it's all we have to talk about other than the kids and until we start to make new things to talk about we are pretty much doomed to talk about the past.
I gave her a choice, I said either we can be friends and you treat me like one IE hang out and do just friend stuff or we go our own ways.
she wants to try and be friends for a week and see where we stand. if we go for a week with no fights. then possiably we will start to hang out do things as normal friends would do.
The phone coaching was ok, she had phone issue and I felt rushed but I guess I did take some of it away from the call it's nice to have a pro. give you the confidence that there is still alot of feelings between my W and me. of course she wont say yeah it will work but she was sure my W still loves me and with some work on myself we can get beyond the issues at hand and stand a very good chance of R
it made me upset because she should have been at work and I think she blew today off.