In Limbo

[d1adsl5a]

Thanks Cat.

Sitting out here at night looking at the stars typing away in my back yard. I have been looking at the blessings this has given me. I have reconnected with some people I haven't talked to in 10 years. I do find myself listening more to people instead of talking. I am also suprised by all the support I have been given. You talked about good days and bad. Today was one of those days. The W went out friday till 3am. Didn't say a word, just asked if she had a good time. I had plans Saturday to go see the air and water show in chicago on a friends boat. Was out most of the day and had a good time. I actually met someone who I liked. I left before I did anything stupid or would complicate my life even further. I wake up this morning, the first thing my W says to me is that I am going out next Saturday and the family function we have once a year this sunday that you always complained about-I don't want you there.

I will admit, I have complained about it in the past. It is an hour mass in italian, then we follow the virgin mary statue around the the block in front of the church, then a raffle for 3 hours in the church basement. This is usually on the last day before the kids go back to school and it ususally takes up most of the day...So I guess I deserved her saying that. I did respond later that day...I said did I do something to make you mad today..Because the first thing you said to me was about me not going to the church function..She responds no..I said I am sorry for taking that for granted all these years. I just walked away after that. I then made a nice dinner for everyone with one of my sons helping. She makes a point to tell the kids at dinner that I am not going next sunday. I just said can we change the subject...I just said kids it is never too late to change and learn new things....She said yes it is. I knew exactly what she meant.

I am doing my best to be happy around the house, doing things with the kids, doing my GAL's, 180's etc...Then she can just come in and take the wind right out of my sails.

Then she has the nerve to ask me later, what's wrong..I of course bit my tounge and just said nothing..That is the question I hate the most, what is wrong. What do you think is wrong? You have destroyed my life, my kids life, my parents life, your parents life. But I digress..

I know, tomorrow will be a better day.