Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

Thanks Kettricken,

No, no bowhunting for bears in my near future, but I am concerned about fixing the very real issue of perception in the eyes of my W.

I am concerned that the way I respond to this allegation of hers has the potential to push me a lot in one direction or another. It's kind of a losers argument: let it go by, and appear weak, react too strongly and appear overly defensive, etc.

In general, I don't feel either effeminate or weak, so the charges really come at me out of left field, adding to my general confusion. I am also now pretty happy with who I am (with the noted exception of improving the ways I deal with conflict and difficult situations - and even those are not horrible, just have room for improvement)

Coming from her, however, the allegations hurt and piss me off, so I have a hard time keeping my emotions in check - I either shut down to impassive, or get angry and irrational.

I am trying to rationally work through how I want to feel and how I want to respond before I talk to her in person tomorrow.

Also, a REAL man cares about manifesting masculinity in ways that seems authentic to *him*, not anyone else. IMHO.

That goes back a bit to my first post on the topic, where I ranted a bit about her perceptions of authentic masculinity seeming to revert back to high school days - if that is so, then I have no desire to even try to match it.