I really believe a lot of the anger/hatred that comes from your wife is prob. her own guilt and anger at herself kind of projected onto you. You can't be full of anger like that and be a happy person, so I think she's def. had consequences in that way.
No, she definitely has some pent up anger and hatred in her. Her chief beef with me stems from her unreasonable expectations. All through the latter part of our M she had typical but excessive expectations for how she wanted me to think, behave and act, and how she wanted our lives to be led. She insisted that we buy a house and that we maintain it in just a certain way and who's roles were what. The general principles I could readily agree to -- I was actually happy to -- but the details and her attempts to micromanage them, I did not appreciate. These differences were very slight in the beginning, but by the time of the bomb that had grown to geometric proportions.
Unfortunately after the separation xW's expectations actually have gotten worse. They no longer involve me being a part of her present or future. No, I am now an obstacle that needs to be removed. And that presents a whole new level of aggravation for her over me. Now that we're divorced, she still has these impossible expectations -- she says a lot less, but I can tell it is eating her up inside because it comes out in other ways. And now she has tried using the threat of taking the kids away to gain leverage. It must anger her to no end to realize that a responsible, loving father just doesn't skulk quietly away from his children just because that is supposed to be according to her script.
So even if xW consciously realizes that she is still a very unhappy and often miserable person, she will still blame that entirely on the fact that her "evil" H didn't crawl off into a hole and die like she had intended but instead he had the audacity to actually try to be involved in her children's lives.
You see, I'm just so evil -- I only dare to be involved with my S's and to show my love to them just to piss her off. Oh! Can you believe it!?? The nerve!
<Bugs Bunny impersonation> Ain't I a stinker? </impersonation>
