I told him that I was sick and tired of only getting the tidbits and that I deserved better in my life. I said that I deserved to have someone in my life who wanted to be with me 100% and that I would be better off alone than the way things have been for me over the past four years. I was careful to also tell him that my reasons for thinking this way had nothing to do with my feelings of love for him, I told him I love him with all my heart. It was now all about respect for myself at this point, I was tired of living with disrespect.
Hi Sanderika,
Your words above are almost identical to those I spoke of with H. He said he wants no relationship with me except friendship. I said I respected that but it wasn't a friendship anyway; friendship is reciprocal and not just based on what suits one party. I said I had loads of friends and my friendship with him was the only one that had this underlying tension. I said our 'friendship' couldn't continue this way because it was too stressful for me and my well being. This was spoken calmly but he got angry and hung up on me. He rang me later and told me he didn't want to speak to me ever again about anything except the children and that he would be arranging a divorce today etc etc.
I called him today but he won't pick up so I text to say I would not let a stupid argument get in the way of the great progress we have made in the past two years. I understand he wants to ignore me but I won't be doing that to him. It's his choice only.
So, now my plan is to just get on with life and let him get on with his. He will know that it's only him that is stopping us from communicating. It's up to him now. I am really starting to think about what's best for me and hanging on his every word and action is not what's best for me. I can't deal with seeing him all the time and knowing when he is going off with her.
No doubt I love him and the door will never be completely closed but I think I have to leave it to him now. I realise he has to want this and he doesn't think he does. I believe his actions show something else but he won't ever admit to it.
His ow won't work in the long term. He hardly seems to be there with her now. Our kids won't have anything to do with her and the rest of the family have no care for her either so he is really all alone except for her and her family.
Maybe this will give him some time to think because I have always been there for him. I love him but I think I have to learn to love myself more!
I guess my surgery was a turning point and I have to make it all work in my favour now.
I am going away for a couple of days. H checked with D to find out where I was going. Hmmmm......wouldn't a friend just ask?
I want a long term partner and husband not a friend. I have lots of friends. Friends are not there after work or on Saturday nights or in a cold bed. He seems angry because he can't once again have it all his own way. Maybe this is me taking a stand for once and for all! I need to work on my future plans for my house and my holidays and to stop considering him and his needs. (((Sanderika)))
