One more thought, should stop thinking. Should I tell him that I enjoyed our time Friday night and Saturday together, or not? - is that coming across as too needy and clingy? - probably.
I know I probably need a good clip across the ears to wake me up.
Hi Oz, yes I can totally identify with your feelings of being able to vent here, of reaching out to people who can really empathise with your pain. I was over the worst part of my sitch when I found this forum. It really brought out the repressed things that I just needed to get out.
This constant changing of personalities within your H is going to be hard, and I just hope taht it won't last too long for you. But don't expect it to be over any time soon.
And I htink the earrings issue might grow into a nagging thorn and more over time.
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
I hope so too that it doesn't last long, our D is really suffering, she is 18 but I can see the change in her, trust and respect will never be repaired with her I don't think.
I really do think deep down he loves me and I can only cling to the hope that this eventually is what brings him back.
I so just want to give him a hug and kiss like we used to, spontaneously, but I know I shouldn't.
The earrings will be a thorn, I know, I try to push it away, but human nature to question and think to much gets in the way.
I really have to address the living arrangements and need advice on how to handle this without appearing needy and clingy but at the same time, recognising his need for space.
I have found somewhere that I am interested in (H does not know yet). H has said he will put his ski and garage stuff in storage, which will cost a fortune and by the time he contributes to D and I and all his other commitments he will be living on bread and butter, the OW will love that - don't think he has thought this out yet.
The townhouse I have found, has a double garage and comes with a boat mooring. Rent is cheap in comparison to most properties in Melbourne as it is a bit further out from the city. Not far from where we live now.
How can I let him know about this property and that instead of storage the ski and garage contents can go into this garage and the mooring is there for when he does take his ski out.
Why make it easy on him? What's your intention? I'd let him live the amazing life he thinks he's going to have as a single man. If you D, will you still be his garage?
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
You are right SD, I suppose it is that clinging to hope and if I appear to be helping, well... you know what I am thinking. Wrong I know on all levels.
I haven't bought the DR book yet, should I get that one and read it as well. I have read DB and re-read it.
Hi Harpo, thanks for dropping in, I am slowly getting around to visiting everyone, but there are so many of us here.
I just want to live somewhere peaceful and calming now and for me being near water is what does that and this particular house is on the water. I find it so soothing and calming to be near it, hear it and be able to sit by it. So might still go for that house, just won't make the garage available for him to use or even suggest it.
The other plus is that it is in a secure complex and given my run of late I need that and no garden to maintain - I don'thave a green thumb. And I can still be near my friends.
