Hi and thanks for your ideas. Yeah, I've been thinking that having him at the house has not been good. He still has a key and walks right in, helps himself to whatever food he wants, gets the mail, etc. I never say anything or get angry---no conflict is my motto!
I used to be like that, too. Ironically I found that when I stood up for myself, having boundaries and not letting H encroach on them there was actually less conflict. I would let H rage on and not really do anything. My C told me say to him something like if you're here to see the kids, then do that. If you're to yell at me, then you need to leave." I said that to him and he said you're right or something like that. Another time he was saying something derogatory about me, something really nasty. I called him on it and said what you just said wasn't appropriate, I don't want you to talk to me like that. He thought about it a couple minutes and came into me and said you're right and apologized! I think people like that tend to look on "nice" people as weak, and they respect you when you have boundaries and maintain them. I still try to be nice and polite, but no more doormat stuff...
