One file I couldnt read finally opened today. It was a letter she had written to him when they were thinking of moving in together. She describes their R, how it started with a hello at Starbucks, how they fell in love, how they very soon agreed to use the word love to describe their feelings, how they met everyday, in the car, in hotels, in the office, how they survived me finding out( I am not sure when i found out), how they overcame a pregnancy (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), how she met my son and spent time with him and how she loved being with him, how she will love our kids as her own and make sure he is happy and balanced...
I was crushed again,called him and lost it. EVERY DAY? PREGNANT? MET MY SON????????????????
He attacked me, said he knows what kind of person I am and how i fool everybody, how mean and awful I am.How he has every right to be mad and angry at me for using things that are no longer useful to anyone. He said he has things on me but since he is so superior, he wont use them,ever.
I called his dad. Told him that I am not made of iron and if he keeps pushing me, I'll sue him for deceit, endangering my health and mental pain.
H called and said he was sorry. It's the way he is and that I knew that and that he didnt mean it.
I am preparing my D papers this week and hopefully file in Sept. He even had the guts to tell me 'there is no us anymore, it's just the kids' as punishment to my anger. There has been no us in my head.
I am sinking in the lies and the consequences of his actions to my kids. And the last part, seems soooo scary to me, they are so young and innocent...
