Another area I disagree with you and many others on. There is and has been nothing wrong with you. Nobody is perfect. You would be much further ahead if you would use better self talk such as admitting that you WERE a damn good wife and you have no regrets now. It seems to me it is ALWAYS the person who says "I want to say I did my best or that I tried everything" are always the ones that end up divorce and not reconciled. My take is that you have NOT tried everything (letting go, dating, getting tough with him to name a couple)What most people sound like to me when they say this is "This way hasn't worked,but I don't want to admit it to myself so I will keep trying more and more of what isn't working until there is nothing left to give. How sad for me to observe this.
Listen, I agree with you. I think I was a wonderful wife and I think I am a great woman. He'd be hard pressed to do better. But, when I was acting like most of the WAWs here, I think it was not good. And, really, your criticism of my psycho-babble here can extend to my controlling, neurotic and over-analytical tendencies in the marriage. I don't need to assign blame. The dynamic and H's behavior fueled my anxiety, but I will never look back and think, "ya, he deserved to have me roll my eyes at him or flip him off or tell him I hate him" just like I didn't deserve the sh*t he was pulling on me.
I am cool with changing some things. Letting go of my moral superiority and hard-headedness are part of it, you see? I mean I swore I would not go near another man until we were divorced and by violating that, I actually freed myself and am ultimately lightening up (one of the things I needed to do in my marriage)...I'm sure this is coming off as psycho-babble but, it makes sense to me.
