I understand being stuck. Let us just trust that God knows when the time is to pause and when the time is to move onward again. To know when and how to become unstuck.
About your ex, while I haven't exactly run across the particular passages in scripture myself <note to self, here is an action item>, I have heard people say that God reserves special judgement against those who lead others astray, especially religious leaders. It is one thing to take actions that condemn one's own self to damnation, it's a whole other thing when you lead other souls off the straight and narrow.
I can say with certainty that during his ministry Jesus did take particular aim at the Pharisees, for their hypocrisy and their arrogance. And I can safely assume that their willful, unrepentant ways cost them eternity. (Nicodemus being one notable exception, it would seem.)
It sounds as if your ex is just like a Pharisee, especially in his self-righteousness and that he too tries to justify D and his own worldly prosperity. Those who follow him even knowing of his faults do so at their own risk. We should pity them.
It is indeed a struggle. And you should know as well as I that God does not lead us around adversity but through it. I can't say that I actually like this myself, but I have to accept it, for He knows best. I just wish my own life was just a tad less "interesting", if you know what I mean.
