Throughout all of this I have never seen or heard so much "crisis code, double talk, contradictions or whatever you want to call it.
She has never been so wishy washy, back and forth, and just plain confused. I have heard everything from both ends of the spectrum, sometimes even in the same sentence.
I am still and will always be one of her best friends?? I pay these types of statements no mind. I thought it was impossible to figure out before, this is so much worse. She still has a ways to go. Nothing and I mean NOTHING, makes ANY sense right now.
The last time I saw her I was nice and upbeat but just a tad more distant. Her crisis radar picked up on it and I was hit with her favorite often used projection that has been there all along. Your just like a ping pong ball, your all over the place.
Not this time sweetie......
I was very calm and kind and began to point out all of her confusing, misleading contradictions. I said it is you that has not been clear. I began to quote many of the jacked up statements I have heard this past week or two.
There was no anger from her whatsoever. She simply sat there for a moment. There was nothing she could say. It wasn't long before she agreed with me and apologized. (that was a surprise.) I told her thank you after she apologized.
I then gave her a clear statement but it was in sort of a crisis code language of my own. I said, what you just accused me of is just like the way things were last year, and I can not, and will not go back to that place or the way things were then. She agreed.
Right after this conversation took place she dropped the kids off at my place for my mother to watch. She told my mom she missed her and the family and then gave my mom her phone number and asked for hers. Why? Who knows?
I received another call from her yesterday, the kids and I were out playing. She said she was thinking of them and was wondering how my daughter was doing after her Dr.'s appt. It was a check up mind you. A check up in which SHE took her to. She never calls like this and at the end of her message she says "I love you guys." Again.....who knows?
There has been more going on. We have had a few conversations, but she still isn't there and is very confused. I have been calm, kind and understanding. However the OM is still very much in the picture. Now is not the time to be "best friends" like she desires.
I am really beginning to see that the further and further away I pull the more she tries to keep me in her grasp. She can no longer hide so much of this crazy stuff like she used to. She can't hold the act up anywhere close to what she could before.
The statement I made seemed to instill a bit of fear in her. That was not my intention. I said it for me, because I will not go backward and I will continue to be strong and move forward and I will be very clear on that.
