One thing that may help is to change the place were you and H exchange custody. Make it a more public place. Don't put yourself in a position to be alone with him. Do you have a regular visitation schedule? Separation agreement?
Hi and thanks for your ideas. Yeah, I've been thinking that having him at the house has not been good. He still has a key and walks right in, helps himself to whatever food he wants, gets the mail, etc. I never say anything or get angry---no conflict is my motto!
Our visitation schedule has been sort of regular. He sees our son each day after school to pick him up and then stays in our house with him until I get home. I has been seeing him only on Saturdays for a day-long visit, no overnights yet. I thought that would be good for our son b/c of consistency but it leaves me feeling like I have no privacy and have to make sure anything personal in the house is packed away. I can't live like that for much longer.
We have a separation agreement with a lot of detail; I have exclusive occupancy of the house for at least a year. But yesterday he threatened to "put the house on the market" b/c he said he can't survive (financially) for a year. So at any time, I feel like he can pull the rug out from underneath me and our son, and keep me as miserable as he is. I guess that is the point, huh? He is suffering still, blaming me still, and wants to keep me in his inner turmoil. Perhaps the best thing I can do is separate myself from that as much as possible so he can see that his innner suffering really isn't b/c of me. Somehow though, I think he still blames me no matter what b/c he has more or less said so.
Me 39, H 41 M 17, T 21 Son, 4 Bomb 2.09, Two EAs Separated 8.4.09 My Long Story and First Postings
