Waiting More Than a Dozen Years

[Walking]

I generally say that I'm pleased with who (and how) I've turned out. And part of that includes this sentiment: if what I've experienced is and was the only way to become who I've become, I would do it again without hesitation. That does not mean that my life is without disappointment, as some things have not turned out the way I expected.

And I think that is exactly the point you come to in a life transition ... this is what I am now as a result of all the experiences, good and bad, I have had to date. Is this who and how I want to be - or do I want to be something or someone more authentic? It's like you get to a point where you've stumbled through your life and you look around you and say is this what I expected? If the answer is no – then you need to go to the next box in the flow chart – Is it acceptable as it is, or do I want more/something else?

Beyond being a sperm donor, there is absolutely nothing (unique) that I have to offer.

As a statement, that is perhaps true – but as a reality that’s all over to you. You chose to have nothing unique to offer. How’s that working for you apart from providing you with periods of smoothness in your life?

My life runs smoothest when there are no such expectations (and therefore no disappointments) in how people choose to be.

And that my friend is the kicker. Do you want your life to be smooth – or do you want it to be fulfilling? Do you want to live without expectations, uniqueness, highs and some lows?

In my experience, taking the risk to make authentic decisions about the life I aspired to was a really important thing for me to do.

I think it’s about what your vision for your life is. When you look at the next period of your life how do you want it to look? The point is - that’s all up to you.

You can’t get your happiness from someone else or from a set of circumstances. Happiness doesn’t come from money, security, marriage. The quality of those all contribute to our comfort but true happiness comes from finding the authentic self. The authentic YOU.