That's so weird -- I was just having this conversation last night with my assistant, whose H is not quite at Monsoor's level but very nearly, and who is doing the same thing. Her assessment, which is below under "couple possibilities" seemed pretty spot-on to me.

(Heck, Mrs. SP was sort of doing it as well, trying to come off all "whatevah" and flirty and sassy but "I'm too cool" for you at the same time in the days leading up to the Great European Getaway -- she even made a point of telling me that she de-friended Signore Schmuckatelli on FB (though obviously not on her mental FB, LOL -- come on, he was the Best Evah).

If it 'twere me, I'd de-friend him and FB block him, just to make the point -- but you're right that such a course of action WOULD be provocative.

WAW KNEW that I'd get the "ping" of a new "news" alert when she changed her FB to her maiden name -- and then used the Lionel Ritchie song line "I'm giving you back your name" as her status. She was sort of showing-off to all her FB friends with a big "F-U Smiley's Person" -- the worst of whom immediately thumbs-upped her status and wrote a long series of variations on "you kill me" and "you're so cool" and "LOL." It's just showing-off. Frankly I suspect it's a phony kind of showing-off, fake-it-till-you-make-it style.)

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don't know how I could live with him at this point or even date him...of course if there was a way, I'd be open to the possibility but for now, not happening.


In the Schnarch book there's this interesting idea -- you don't have to know something until you experience it. In a way, then, that's the answer to these queries. You don't have to know how you could live with him at this point; you don't have to know how you could date him. If you wind up doing so, you'll know how you did it when you experience it.

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Do you relate to what he is doing? Is it just ego? Possessiveness? Narcissism? I know mind-reading is a no-no but I just don't get it.


Couple possibilities (because I've done that "you look hot" thing with WAW, though that's kind of DB'ing) that my assistant and I came up with last night for this behavior: (A) Obliviousness; (B) it's the only way he knows how to communicate affection; (C) passive-aggressive torment; (D) status-checking (is she still into me?); (E) cake-eating (she's so lame I can bag her AND Hot Rich Actress Lady, bwah-ha-hah! Mon dieu! D'accord! Zoot alors! Smooshmatoes! Peekmanose!); or some combination thereof.