Has anyone seen my get-up-and-go?

[Dawn of Hope]

I love your story about the white dove!! As I was reading it, I was thinking "That ain't no pigeon, Dawn!" That is so cool!

Okay, SC, you just made me laugh! I thought it was pretty cool too!

You really sound like you are doing well, Dawn. I know the struggle of "stepping off the cliff" when you suffer from depression, especially going cold turkey on the meds. My hat's off to ya', girl! You're a strong lady!

Thanks, SC, I appreciate it! These days I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, trying to do the right thing, not dramatically happy or sad. I am fighting the inertia, the rut I'm in. So far haven't really broken out of it, but I keep fighting.

I haven't mentioned that this week I got an email that surprised me. It was from H's favorite cousin (he comes from a large, fairly close-knit family, so there are a whole lot of cousins). She's a little older than I am, never M, and while I wouldn't say we are close buddies, I like her and she has always been kind and welcoming to me. She told me she had just heard about the sitch with H and me via a mutual acquaintance (not a family member). I had heard about this discussion from the acquaintance at the time but didn't think I would hear from anyone in the family as a result. The family members the acquaintance was talking to were reportedly completely shocked and had heard nothing about it (no big surprise; I don't think H likes to tell people what he is up to in this regard).

Anyway, she told me she was sorry to hear about the split, and wanted to let me know that there were people in the family who still cared about me and considered me to be family, and she mentioned that she is still in touch with her former sister-in-law, who D her brother over 25 years ago. I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised, considering that this cousin's mother still gets invited to and attends all of the family gatherings, even though she and her H (my FIL's brother) D about 20 years ago, and he remarried and then died about 10 years ago...and she and her X's second W even used to hang out together some! So there is a history of connection even after D in that family.

Anyway, I was really touched that she would reach out to me like that, given that nobody else in the family, not even my SIL, who went through this with her first H (she finally D him after 18 years of his lies and cheating), has ever contacted me since H left. So this is the first time in over a year that I've been in touch with anyone in the family I've been part of for 17 years. Her message meant a lot to me. I spent quite a lot of time crafting my response, to make sure nothing I said would come back to bite me later. I thanked her and told her that I really appreciated the sentiments, and didn't say anything specific about our sitch except that I was praying for reconciliation...oh, I might have mentioned that there have been no legal proceedings; don't quite remember. Talked a little about my business, which she has expressed interest in. Didn't say anything else about H.

It's a little weird, as probably we will be a topic of gossip in the family now that the cat is out of the bag, but I am not worried...I haven't done anything I'm ashamed of, and I believe that the truth will come out in the end, even if H is trying to twist it. It's just sort of a weird feeling.

Time for me to stop hunching over the computer and do something USEFUL!

Peace,
Dawn