Has anyone seen my get-up-and-go?

[Dawn of Hope]

Hey, Mach! It is so kind of you to stop in and inquire about me; thank you! Yes, 2 a.m. is "the shank of the evening," as my brother says (I come from a whole family of incurable night owls!).

I'm doing okay. A work in progress, just like everyone else here. I'm starting to attract some positive attention for my work on a national level, which is very exciting for me. My field is quite small as an actual profession even though a lot of people play around with it (I'll bet everyone knows a dozen people who have amused themselves with trying calligraphy). So the competition isn't nearly as fierce as in a lot of fields, so the ladder to the top is a lot shorter and less crowded. Also, we professional calligraphers mostly know each other and are courteous and helpful to each other, which is wonderful.

My big issue right now is turning all this into cold cash. I find it profoundly embarrassing that I have been in business for over 15 years, considering it my full-time job, and yet have never had more than poverty-level income to show for it, even though my prices are at the top of the range for my area (which is a lot less than in other areas, which helps a lot now that my client base is expanding a lot geographically). I do totally feel that my skills justify that...even my H, in all his MLC glory, has consistently maintained the position that I am better at calligraphy than _anyone_ he knows is at _anything_ whatsoever.

It's the business side of things that knocks me for a loop--I have no background in marketing or strategic planning or any of that businessy stuff...my degree is in math (not accounting...my studies focused on the more theoretical stuff). I always used to say that if you could figure it out with a calculator, you didn't need me, because I only do higher math!

I digress. Where was I? Oh yes...I really need to do some major restructuring of my business, and am listening to a lot of teleseminars and checking out other programs to try to figure out what to do. I think the key for me right now is to turn my attention from learning to actually _doing_...uncertain as I may be about what direction to go. I get "analysis paralysis" at the drop of a hat and end up stuck there. It's time to break the inertia and safety of just learning, and step off the ledge.

Something interesting happened to me this morning. I was wandering about quite early, shortly after sunrise, in a sleep-deprived state. I looked into my backyard and saw, standing at the edge of my screwed-up pool...a pigeon. Those of you who live in major urban areas are going to wonder what the big deal is here, so let me explain. We have pigeons in this area, mostly in the city and near the bridges, but in 17 years I've never seen one anywhere near my house (I live in the suburbs). And to my memory, I've NEVER seen a white one. This one was pure, snowy white. It was alternately grooming itself and sitting still, looking around. I watched it for quite a while, blinking at it from my total brain fog. It was still there when I finally headed off for some sleep.

Later, when I was more awake, it hit me: I had been visited by a white dove. A white dove! Something I can't remember ever seeing before. All I could do was to thank God for showing me that sign, that encouragement. I don't even know how to express how much it meant to me. I don't get signs from God very often at all, but I've had two of them in the last week or so. I am so very grateful to feel that God is looking out for me.

Peace and blessings,
Dawn