In Utter Agony...Long 1st Post

[eternaloptimist]

Unfortunately, yes.

I realize now that I just engaged his rage these past few months, which just "fed into his hands" about blaming me for all that is wrong with his life. So he projected all of this rage and hate at me. Even when I found out that he wanted to have an affair (I found an almost-new box of condoms, missing only one, in the garbage can, and he told me point blank that he wanted to have an affair), he told me that he was trying to see if he could "alleviate his unhappiness." I think now that I found out about the therapist, which was likely an EA not a PA, and when I wouldn't let it go after only 2 weeks, he couldn't take the humiliation or guilt and said I'd never be able to forgive him (which is not true). It all just escalated from there because he kept stringing me along, telling me that maybe he'd work on the marriage vs. divorce. He was taking time to think things through. We had a big fight one night back in June and he said he was "done" and that I'd never know what his decision would be. After that, the snooping I did to find out about the therapist eroded his trust and his ability to live in the house. He then decided to move out.

So here I am now in the house with our son and his daily rage when he drops off our son...threats that he's going to put the house up for sale soon...little jabs about who I'm with, if it's a boyfriend so that he's off the hook for the mortgage payment. The stress has been awful, not to mention damaging to our son.