I have decided to stay. Surprise, Surprise for H Why do you think surprising them is good? He is so used to me being gone. My car is in the garage. I hope he doesn't think I'm gone and walk in with skank. What a nightmare that would be!
He will either come in late thinking I am gone. OR Come home, change his clothes and go out again. OR Come home and stay here. I like the last one better!
I need to find something to do to take my mind off him. AND Remember he is not my H right now. He is just someone who looks like him.
I wonder when the Mother Ship will return the real one. They can have this one, and his little MLC manual too!
"I wonder when the Mother Ship will return the real one. They can have this one, and his little MLC manual too!" I wonder too when mine will be returned!:)
I think surprising them is good because it keeps them guessing. Goodness knows they do that to us! I am trying to be less predictable than before though it is hard when my schedule really revolves around the kids.
How did the evening pan out?
I think I like the word skank so much because it sounds so much like skink, those slithery looking lizards that look like snakes with legs. Sounds about right, don't you think?
H came home around 9:00 last night. If he was surprised to see me home, he didn't let on. I greeted him nicely, and he went to bed.
Around 7:30 this morning, he took out on the Harley. I was surprised at that because he still has his hand wrapped up from the cancer surgery that was done on his hand. He still has the stitches.
So, there doesn't seem to be trouble in paradise any longer. If there was, she skanked her way back in somehow. He's into skank now, and I'm NOT a skank. So he doesn't want anything to do with me. On that note, I noticed he didn't take a shower when he got home last night, or this morning. I don't know what he's turned into. Lucky skank! lol
I'm actually doing OK being home this weekend and seeing him do his thing. I just need to remember my DH doesn't exist right now, and she can have this one.
It's like the donkey they threw in the well. Every time they threw dirt on him to bury him, he shook it off and stepped up on it. Finally the dirt pile was so high that he was able to step right out of that well. I am going to do the same thing. Every time Alien H does his thing,ignores me, treats me with disrespect, I'm going to shake it off and step up. Finally I'll be at the top of that pit, and step out. I will not be Pit-i-ful.
I am so fed up... I'm standing for this marriage. I have forgiven him for what he has done to our marriage. I have been giving him my unconditional love. I have been treating him with respect.
My H has a prestigious position in this community. He is always in the public eye. My H was always well respected. My H was a man of integrity. My H was a man who had morals.
I have been trying so hard to be the bigger/better person in all this. Not wanting to cause any trouble for him, because I know this isn't really who he is.
I feel sorry for him. Skank doesn't love him for him. She loves him for who he is in this town, and what he has to offer her ( security, a beautiful house, and a Harley to ride on). She just got D for the third time, and is fifteen years younger than H.
I loved H for him before we had anything.
It's sad. As many of you know who read my situation, he filed for D eight months ago.I responded, nothing has happened since. He continues to live at home. I hope he comes out of the fog before it goes through. It's sad.
No, I'm not sure of anything. He could be off by himself / he could be off with ow. He could have rode with friends on a day trip. He could have rode to ow place and just be hanging out there all day. I can't imagine him going on a long ride with his hand wrapped up.
I don't know what he would be doing anymore.
He's been gone all day. I'm staying strong by keeping it in my mind that H is in his Alien fog right now. He is being a crazed teenager.
I'm glad you are staying strong! Keep the Joy of the Lord as your strength.
Isn't this alien fog something? Sometimes it is hard to remember that it is just that. Strange how it makes them act like crazed teenagers. I am seeing glimpses of my H again but there are still those crazed teenager parts that need to go and I am sure it is still a long road ahead.
It is sunday night, and I feel really good.I wanted to prove to myself that I could stay home and see just how strong I could be no matter what I saw.
Saturday night H/on Harley roared in at about 10:00 He looked really beat. I greeted him nicely and exchanged a few friendly words before he zonked out. I still don't know where he went or who he was with. I will leave that alone. When I went out to the garage tonight though I did notice the passenger foot rests were up as if they weren't used.
H was home all day today. I made a nice breakfast, and he cleaned up afterwards. We made rootbeer floats this afternoon, and then had dinner. He still eats in the other room. It makes me feel bad, then I think maybe it's uneasy for him. Maybe a little guilt?? Nah. Maybe. Also he was talking on the phone to his mother and I heard him say MJ's fine, she just started back to work. Since she asked about me, I'm now wondering if she knows what's going on. She lives in another state.
I have noticed a difference in H weekend routine. There was a time when this all started that he would come home in the middle of the night or not at all. Friday night he didn't even know I was here, and he came home at 9:00. Would have been better right after work, but at least it wasn't middle or all night. At the beginning, he would sometimes come home on a friday night and change into different clothes ( clothes I picked out and bought ) and scurry out the door. Oh those were awful days. I couldn't believe he was doing this.
I look back and it's amazing how I made it through this last year. My good christian friend came into my life just in time. I believe that was all part of a bigger plan. Then I found Rejoice Marriage Ministries that convinced me to stand for my marriage and treat H with unconditional love. Then at last this website, and books. I found out so much about MLC. Everything I was reading was everything H was saying and doing. WOW! I couldn't believe it.
I heard something on the Inspirational channel last night. "Do not fear because GOD is right there with you. GOD is on your side. Once you get to the place where you can let go and really put it in GODS hands a peace will come over you. Also, a teacher doesn't talk during a test, and neither does he. Be still and know he is there.
FEAR knocked at the door FAITH answered No one was there
It sounds like you did great over the weekend! I guess now you can choose whether you want to go or stay on the weekend based on what you want rather than because you were afraid of what you might see.
Maybe the tide is turning with OW. We can hope and pray.
I too am so glad that I found the resources about MLC or I am afraid I would have been done already. He is starting to dial down the crazy a bit which is nice. Still, I miss my H and I miss having a H who is involved in what is going on around here. One of these months/years maybe.:)
