He realized and took steps to disable IM so she can't see him online anymore.
I think that was good, but she can still prob. email him to check in or say hi. And I think you shouldn't respond to that. Disabling the IM was good too. I think it's a good thing you can go really dark. It's harder to do that when you have kids and financial stuff.
I've read in a couple books, DR included, about the whole pursuit/distancer dynamic. I really think Rs tend to follow that esp. ones that wind up here; usually one is kind of the pursuer and the other the distancer, and on the DB boards I think most of us tend to be the pursuers, at least in the beginning. And it's better to be more of the distancer or at least not the pursuer from a DB, healthy R perspective.
I do think gforce is a great example. He completely 100% dropped the rope and focused on starting a new life, moving, new job, etc. Completely planning on the M being over and starting over. Not a ploy but a complete dropping of the rope. I think that helped her snap out of it and realize what she was going to lose. Karen
