K4D Rising #4

[K4D]

The BIGGEST thing about AA and IC is to figure out why you started abusing in the first place.

Yes, that is something I am trying to figure out each time I go. All it did was make things bad, so why did I do it as opposed to an alternative? I think about that each time I am there and listening to someone talk or going through the book. I could have been so much further along in life if I had looked for an alternative healthy way of dealing with things and life would have been much better for all of us.

It's great to hear you and your W had a good talk, just PLEASE don't get your hopes up. You must be doing something right, figure that out and do more of it. Just know that set backs will come, if you do the work on YOU, you have a chance but ONLY if you work on you...

I find that if I respond positively around my W, things go well between us. But if I am negative or emotional in any way at all, things go very poorly very quickly and she wants nothing to do with me. She didn't file for D this week and everything this weekend looks good for a baby step. But do not worry. I am not getting my hopes up that there won't be setbacks. I'm just trying to take the positive track with her going forward. The more positive I am around her and in my life, the better chance I have of her wanting to be around me at all. I figured that out.

I'm also doing a lot of praying and repenting with it.

I know you know this get your D's into C ASAP, you should be able to tell us on Monday they have an appt, this is more important than anything right now...soft 2x4...

I should be able to do this especially now that I know W is not going to help me out with it at this time. Thanks for the soft 2x4 and the support.

Kevin