Of course not. Going dark is to shake it up a bit to save it.
This won't be forever, but if you don't try this, you may regret it later.
The way you guys are going along now, with her playing the blame game, and you always playing defense so she won't "hate you" is not effective.
When you stay in contact, hoping she will come back, trying so hard not to make her mad, accepting crumbs, you are not helping the sitch.
In fact, I think that couples who do this are just letting the R peter out, dying under it's own weight. She will keep beating you over the head until she gets bored and leaves anyway.
Go pitch black for awhile. It's a good thing right now.
I was a sort of I don't know promiscuous young man up until about a year before I met her. It is easy for me. I Never have to really put any effort into it. I decided though that that sort of junkfood sex was full of empty emotional calories so I stopped allowing myself to be in those situations.
I have a somewhat charismatic presence and am seen in crowds as very self assured and in charge. The big exception though has been my W.
I fell prey to my old weakness after not even being interested in other women for nearly a year.
This is a tough row to hoe here. I know what I want in the long run but there is a lot of junkfood out there.
Also, I still really want an answer to what would be an appropriate action on W's part for me to react to?
That is precisely what I have begun doing however....
Is there any appropriate action that she would take that would warrant a reaction from me? otherwise it sounds like you are advising divorce. Do you know what I mean? _________________________
We cross-posted. Sorry for any confusion.
I think you should stay dark until she stops blaming you and trying to justify her own sh!tty behavior.
When, and she WILL contact you at some point, she reaches out, don't respond until you come here first. There are great people here who can advise on how to respond.
Plus, when you do decide to respond, make it very short and unemotional. "Yes", "No", "Ok" are all good. Do not explain yourself to her! Do not think of bogus excuses to contact her. Just don't contact her first at all.
Do not tell her you miss her. Do not tell her you are sorry. How many more times does she need to hear that? And how much has it really helped?
Well, see? You got your charisma going for you. Use it to your advantage with your w.
It will be difficult to stop the pattern of weakness, but you can do this. Let her see you shine in a different light. You don't need to kow-tow to her anymore. Become aloof and mysterious.
