Your wife thought cheating was ok just because she was "honest" with you about it? That really takes the cake. She just wants to keep beating you over the head with this so she feels less guilt.
I would recommend going dark and dropping the rope. This isn't done for revenge, but usually to escape negative patterns that it sounds like you're having and to get some calm & peace. Focus on yourself and improving yourself as much as you can. Make yourself into the best person you can be.
Karen
I am doing that. I have heard people talk abt going dark until the other spouse initiates. What is considered initiating? Text is bogus isn't it?
Actually she didn't say it was okay, what she said was she was sorry and was ready to deal with that issue however difficult it was but while she was deciding that she wanted to reconcile and was telling me so in little bits at a time, I was carrying on with OW while telling wife "yes yes I want to be back together" In this she feels very betrayed and I agree, but I wish she could get past that as I could with her betrayal.
My affair is OVER OVER OVER! I hate the OW in fact the way she manipulated my wife and her ex-husband so that she could have me to herself. I saw it all happen and I know what (the OM and OW) are all about. Selfish vindictive vultures willing to destroy to have their own feeling of security. Because of the vulnerability of my wife and I due to our own very deep personal issues, we were used by these others and now we are the most miserable of them all.
My past is full of abandonment issues, I grew up in a children's home, My wife has trust issues and fear of poverty due to her drunk dad, enabling mom.
