I cant read another book now. But I will take a note.
I am sitting here, on the veranda of the room I am renting thinking over and over again the sequence of facts, when, what etc etc
I am trying to realise what hurts more. It's the 2006 facts. The time when I was completely unaware of what was going on. The times when I was whining for time with him, starting the paperwork to build our cabin up on the mountain, the trip to Munich, the car we bought, our Christmas, the family dinners I had at our home with his family and on and on...
It feels as someone told me : you have been stupid and a fool still creating moments with him while all he wanted was to leave your home and be with her...
He said that what united us was a strong past. Already, I was past to him while for me he was my only future. If someone had told me this -and some did- even a month ago, I wouldn't believe them.
My brother's wife cut her finger badly yesterday. My brother drove her to Thessaloníki to have it taken care of. My kids told him on the phone and he asked to talk to her. I got furious listening to how he "cared". I send him a message saying, keep your interest in MY family to yourself.
All he means to me is deceit. I want to hurt him. Hurt him as bad as possible. But I cant do even that. K
