Some of you know me, some don't. I won't bore you with too many of the details of my past. Just know that I came from the Infidelity forum. My H of almost 15 years (18 together) has had at least 2 affairs that I'm aware of. I feel like there have been more. He is also a functioning alcoholic who is an admittedly selfish man. He has vowed his love to his latest affair.
So, here I am. Those that know me are probably saying....what took you so long? I am ready to let go. I'm not sad at all. I'm more certain of the decision to end my marriage than I've been of almost anything in my life.
My H has been telling me for months, actually a few years now that he can't think of spending the rest of his life with me. I've gotten to the point where I feel the same way. My H has said some very, very nasty things to me and I'm done. I'm ready (in time) to find someone who will treat me right, as I deserve to be treated.
Even though my H has told me these things and is supposedly passionately in love with another woman, I'm ready for a backlash of anger from him. Why? Because I told him tonight that I am ready. That I will start the process and get it done. That it took me longer to get here, but I'm here. He has started to give me sh*t about it. He asked who helped me make the decision. Am I seeing someone else? Am I in a rush to get it done? That I'm cutting myself off from good sex. On and on and on. It's odd this time though. Nothing that he says hurts any more. I feel like a duck letting it all roll off my back. My best friend told me that eventually I would get here and she was right. It took a while, but I'm here.....ready to finally be happy. I don't want those that don't know me to think that this was an easy decision or that I see it as a funny thing. Those that know me known that I've gone through complete hell.....and I've finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel.
So, hello everyone! I'm back on DB after a bit of a break.
Have a good night and I'll see you all again soon!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
