A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

Ok, as it stands, taking the apartment is wrong for me at this time. On pure pragmatics, it's too expensive and I do not have a job in hand that will pay for it. As regarding my sitch, we're in a very good progress/wait-and-see mode. While this next bit might be fear-based, it's also probably accurate.

H is just beginning to connect, to open up a little, to re-forge bonds with me. If I leave now, I think he will shut down, shut off and retrench with OW.

To recap on the OW, she lives about 2k miles away and they only see each other in person a few times a year. I do not consider this relationship a betrayal (though it does hurt) because it was started in good faith pretty deep into our separation with papers filed, etc. Yes, she needs to go away for us to fully proceed, but I am acting as if she doesn't exist for the most part and my DB Coach agrees.

Ain't no way in heck that an LDR can compete with a sassy, happy, DBing WIFE who is right at his fingertips. As things continue to improve with us, she will drop away. And if she doesn't, I will issue an ultimatum - but that's down the road and may not be needed.

In fact, the longer I live here, the more it will complicate their relationship and, well - GOOD! I don't know if she knows I'm here, but it will become very hard for him to hide it and any decisions about how/what/if to tell her are his to wrestle with, not mine.

I have not yet notified the apartment people that I will not be taking it, so you guys have a day or so to administer 2x4s if you think I need them.