I am seeing someone now and it is going good thus far (only 4 months in) but I'm liking it. Well see, but it is nice to have someone who is honest and open as well as someone who likes me for me.
As for your BF, I think it is amazing that he was so miserable in his R w/Helen and I too think it is great that he wants absolutely nothing to do w/her. I've never been in shoes like his, but from what you posted on Kalni's thread along w/what you've told us here, he seemed to be fortunate to pull himself out before it got too late to do so.
As for holding your tongue -- good job doing it and KEEP IT UP! Your answers WILL come. Your intuition is very correct on this one, so trust it and keep waiting for BF to open up to you...he's been doing this already, so keep it up.
I'd like to know what he'll say, but I think it will be your life w/out him for sure, but I also really feel it will deal something w/your confidence (or at least how you seemed confident w/him not around).
I think that is the real key behind DBing as you are correct, there are many of us who won't get that 2nd chance. However, if they told us that, we wouldn't be buying the books and honestly, that book is one of the best things that has happened to me.
The DB book didn't help me save my marriage. I thought it would and could, but didn't. Instead it gave me something much, much greater. It gave me confidence in myself and allowed me to work to create a healthier and happier me.
So, I think that while many of us won't be able to get to the level you have w/BF and while I do think you are one of the fortunate among us, we all instead will continue to benefit from the same exact thing - growth, change, and a renewed feeling of self, self-worth, and a complete understanding that not only can we survive a painful D, but we will survive and thrive as well.
I'm starting to figure out that confidence is indeed very sexy and very attractive.
