"I know about the infidelity and I will no longer work on a relationship when there are other parties involved."

you are still pursuing her? after all she did?

I mean if she apologized and said lets try and work this etc ... I can see maybe considering it for the boys, but man, she has to come to you.

I feel that you are going kill any respect she has left for you (if she has any left at all) by telling her that.