CIPA You can call me, day or night. Any day of the week. I get random calls all the time, all day, all night. DO not look at the clock and think "oh, I shouldn't call right now." The only reason I wouldn't answer is if I'm asleep and in that case, no harm done. If's 2 am, I hear the phone, I'm going to answer. You call me, whenever you want or need to.
I tend to agree that you should avoid her this weekend. If you are feeling vindictive, and I know I would be, not talking to her for the weekend you are home is going to cause a lot of angst on her part. On your part, it gives you time to maybe not calm down, but to think it through and get better control which is what I now think you are getting. Right now she's trying to play "who's got a bigger you know what." Teach her, you do. Teach her, you are in control of you and no one else. Teach her, you are not going to react to her and her crap. Teach her, you now have the ball in your court and for the time being you feel like just taking some practice shots on your own. Let her fester and wonder what's going to be coming next.
Consider this: You have a 100% guarantee that she's going to want to come home, she's going to want to work this out. It's going to be a few months down the line.....but eventually she will try to make amends and reconcile. HOW WOULD YOU ACT RIGHT NOW? And go with it.
At this point, what has really changed CIPA? As painful as it is, what's changed is that you now know everything....and in order to really reconcile, to make this marriage stronger than it's ever been, you were going to have to know that this happened. Now you know. Charge forward. If you REALLY want a divorce, then do it. I just feel in my heart that you don't. And in my opinion that makes you an amazing husband and an amazing father and an amazing person.
You want to turn this around? When she comes over to pick the boys up have a lady friend answer the door.... oh and make sure the lady friend is young and hot.
Too bad I'm so far away, I know a few 20 something's that would do nicely.
Oh I just wanted add something with regards to custody. Someone I know, a father received full custody I mean a slam dunk, because one of the boys witnessed the mother playing the om’s skin flute.
Your wife seems kind of carless about that sort of thing. You may want to ask the boys a few very tactful questions. Question’s about when they are with her. Maybe she has had OM around them. Did one of them wake up in the middle of night to get some water and see something he should not have? Keep your eyes open. All it takes it one slip up like that.
"I know about the infidelity and I will no longer work on a relationship when there are other parties involved."
you are still pursuing her? after all she did?
I mean if she apologized and said lets try and work this etc ... I can see maybe considering it for the boys, but man, she has to come to you.
I feel that you are going kill any respect she has left for you (if she has any left at all) by telling her that.
No I am not pursuing her. I haven't talked to her since Tues nite. I did respond to a tactical question about the kids with a very business like tactical response. Her's was full of pleasantries.
What I trying to create, from a negotiations sense, a way for her to make a choice to pursue me, if she chooses. I am done pursuing. I don't think getting a divorce is the best for the boys, but do not know if I have the strength/will to forgive her.
Right now, I just can not.
Who knows what the future may bring.......
I know it will be good. I just don't see her in it right now. Nor do I want her in it right now. But as I've been telling her, feelings change. We should not make such a life altering decision based on a feeling.....
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
You want to turn this around? When she comes over to pick the boys up have a lady friend answer the door.... oh and make sure the lady friend is young and hot.
Too bad I'm so far away, I know a few 20 something's that would do nicely.
That was actually the issue she called to complain about on Tues nite - I had let the boys skype with the very well proportioned waitress.....
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
CIPA You can call me, day or night. Any day of the week. I get random calls all the time, all day, all night. DO not look at the clock and think "oh, I shouldn't call right now." The only reason I wouldn't answer is if I'm asleep and in that case, no harm done. If's 2 am, I hear the phone, I'm going to answer. You call me, whenever you want or need to.
Stronger,
Thank you for all that. I will definitely keep that in mind. Just remember the saying, becareful of what you ask for as you may get it : )
I will try to avoid her.
I'm heading out in about an hour or so to see my boys. I can't wait. It has been what I have been looking forward to all week.
Don't be surprised if I call you during my 3 hour drive!
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
