C - I get your mindset right now. After all this crap I discovered my X is a sociopath. She shows no remorse for what she did. No sympathy. That is one of the hardest parts to deal with. I have taken ownership of my part but she is NOT STRONG enough to own up to hers. Like Stuck said. They are too insecure to even begin to handle the guilt of what they did. I also think that is why they cheat because in a sick and twisted way they are too weak to walk away so they do something to hurt us to make us want to leave. In a way she was right because if it wasnt for the cheating I would have probably wanted to keep fighting. Like you I found what they did disgusting and unexcuseable.
Your situation is different though. Your WAW is still NOT sure what she wants. If she didnt care about you she wouldnt have wanted to be around you let alone let you touch her. She is still in a FOG, BUT I think if you started making new "friends" and step up the GAL and mysterious parts then she will "wake up" sooner then later. I'm usually not an advocate of dating before you are divorced but because she is acting the way she is and because shse has shown some signs of jealousy before I would really show her that you are NOT interested in her at all and are starting to build a new life without her.
Once again, it's ALL about CONTROL. She thinks she has you right where she wants you. But, once she looses that control ALL BETS are off. She will most likely really start pursuing you.
At which point you make her work for it for a couple months then suggest Retro. I know you think you dont want to be with her anymore, but you and I both know that's not true. Just the thought of someone you Love so much betraying like that is unimageable. But, she did it and in her mind it might have been for you. Is that sick or what? Using her logic she might have done it to help let you go be with someone you actually Love you. But soon she will once again discover what Love is really about. These sleezes that are using her now will eventually start making her feel dirty and worthless. Hopefully then she will realize getting the ATTENTION from all these men for physical is NOTHING compared to getting the ATTENTION from one man that sincerely loves her. Unfortunately, depending on how screwed up she is it could take years.
So just continue to GAL and getting out more and mentally letting go. Once you do she will most likely want like most of us "want what she can NO LONGER have..."
Oh and about the infidelity claim. Drop it. It's not worth. You have suffered enough. Just let it go. Karma will catch up w her soon enough. Just focus on what's best for the boys. Knowing there mom is a "lost soul" will not help.
