O-you are probably very right that your biggest problem is detatching. Ok co-dependent. So what are you going to do to break the cycle? W thinks not much. Surprise her.
Hard thing on the counselor simply because it is counter what you hear a lot here. You sort of have to do what works. No you can't deny your own feelings forever (sexual needs, etc...) But if your wife had a physical illness that kept her from doing that, you would go with it until she was able. It is sort of the same thing. Unfortunately, W can't make you feel better right now because she can't make herself feel better right now. You can't fix her, but you can let her see that you won't be a doormat. There is a great thread about Pursuing and Distance in the MLC resource thread which is at the top of the MLC archives forum.
One of the things I have learned through this process is that I want my H, I love my H, but I don't NEED my H in order to live my life. That realization has completly taken me out of the pursuit process.
We still do things as a family and they make ME feel like there is closness but then he pulls back. He too may feel closness and just isn't ready or able to accept it.
Hey, go to Mystic. I loved it as a child and wish I had been able to take my own S there. Go and enjoy. Take it for what it is--a nice day. That is it no strings attached, no hidden meanings, just a nice day.
Life can only be lived from one day to the next so why not try to see the joy in each one instead of worrying so much about what tomorrow, next month, or next year is going to bring.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
