I’m having real problems detaching. I have to work on this and also trying not to fix stuff. I should learn to let it be.
Right this weekend I have two important things to do 1. Help my D move and 2. Drop the other D off at a wedding and pick her up afterwards. I’d sorted out the logistics of doing both and was looking forward to the day.
The other day one D asked her father to take her to the wedding and he agreed even though he knew that I’d planned to take her (I think she was trying to be helpful). I was upset by this, I’ve know the couple getting married for several years and would have liked to have seen them at the church etc. Anyway mentioned this to D who then told her father that he needn’t give her a lift. That’s when it all kicked off. Got an irate phone call , I was being selfish and ‘why couldn’t I just let him take her and I was keeping the kids away from him etc etc’. Suggested that he came and helped with the move (as I’ve hurt my back) as that’s where he would be most helpful. But no apparently he’d got plans (with OW I suppose).
The upshot is that I help move and probably do my back in and he takes the other to the wedding.
I was told that he didn’t want to do anything with me at all. I lost the affirming plot here and tried to argue the point (mistake). My view is that we share kids and in order to make this easier for everyone we should be cordial at least to each other. My H doesn’t see this and thinks we should be completely separate apart from getting together at kid’s birthdays only. Which are awkward as we’ve not seen each other for weeks, following his ‘rules’.
I’m trying hard to establish a friendly atmosphere between us, it’s not working and I’m not sure where to go from here.
