why? so i would have made her felt like if she comes over here thats all im after?
im just trying to get the relationship back if i wanted a [censored] i would just go out to a bar
the thing i cant understand is why she feels like she needs to fight from wanting the relationship. in so many words its what she said... she is fighting herself from comming back
Do you think that she is afraid that your changes are an act? If thats the case then all you can do is keep it up, eventually she will have to know that this is who you are now.
I wonder if you asked her why she feels like she has to fight it so hard, she would tell you the truth? Maybe just validating her explicit concerns would help her. Im not talking about her just saying "Because Im scared" Im talking about her saying "?Im scared that you have not really changed, that you will still ______" fill in the blank. Then you could ask her, how would she know that you had made that change for real. Im trying to think of solution-oriented ways to have this conversation.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Do you think that she is afraid that your changes are an act? If thats the case then all you can do is keep it up, eventually she will have to know that this is who you are now.
I wonder if you asked her why she feels like she has to fight it so hard, she would tell you the truth? Maybe just validating her explicit concerns would help her. Im not talking about her just saying "Because Im scared" Im talking about her saying "?Im scared that you have not really changed, that you will still ______" fill in the blank. Then you could ask her, how would she know that you had made that change for real. Im trying to think of solution-oriented ways to have this conversation.
I could try next time she feels like she wants to talk like that... she seems so happy now when she called last night she seemed so happy.. there are some changes in her to take note of and one is why she now wants her kids (befor she could have cared less to even talk to the girls, she would call for me and if i was in the shower or whatever she would tell my daughter just have dad call me back and let her go right away) last night felt odd when she called and had to ask me stuff on our son she needed to know if she should put him to bed in a pullup or not. (since he was with me he is now potty trainned i did nothing special it was just his time he decided he felt he would)
why? so i would have made her felt like if she comes over here thats all im after?
Sure, why not? your interactions with your wife point to thats maybe what she wants. why else would she come over after the kids go to bed? why else would she text you over and over do you miss me? come over to hug and hold your hand, poke you on facebook?
Originally Posted By: wifeleft2009
im just trying to get the relationship back if i wanted a 8888 i would just go out to a bar
relationships without sex rot! might as well get a golden retriever. SM
I really dont think that now is an appropriate time to be trying to get her in the sack. Even if she went for it, she could end up resenting it later. Unless she initiates, then I dont know. And you can be intimate in lots of other ways. Holding her hand and wiping away her tears is more intimate than a quick screw to blow off steam.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
well today sorta went ok she almost kissed me out of "habit" she said which its been months so idk about any habit! she said it would have been bad I said bad? she said yeah the kids are here watching and i said oh ok? she then said well i do care about you... its ok we held both hands and the same time looking at eachother and got a few hugs and she was rubbing my back during one. IDK what she is fighting but its something in her head... we would have done that more but son was crying so bad that she was getting him and unlocking the van door he was sorta pissing her off
I dont think that its wrong for kids to see their parents showing affection! Not necking by any means, but a loving kiss between mom and dad seems like it would teach them good things!
It sounds like a nice moment. Hopefully they'll start happening more and shell realize that she enjoys them, and that there is nothing wrong with that! Nothing like a toddler to ruin the moment!
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Yeah, he was really upset he wanted to go to my house.. he does this game though where he wants grandpa to pick him up from daycare when mommy is picking him up. but when grandpa picks him up he does not want to leave..
I hope she does not run from her feelings and get cold again. its the feeding a rabbit from your hand deal.
she was telling me to call her (she said even if she cant talk i should still call her??)
as much as she has been complaining about things (stuff missing and ruined) from the kids she hangs with she still keeps on hanging with them... its fustrating where it sounds like she starts to see how they are and how dumb they are with little respect. but she wont fully grasp that the age differance is not right and these things are just going to get worse.
