A Crossroads

[Can it work]

Thank you for your reply MsM. Every passing day does ease the pain again like it did last time. It was so fresh though, almost as if I'd just lost my W all over again. Still, it may be a blessing in helping me to move on. I'm still not sure that's what I want to do but I'd be completely delusional if I thought there was any hope for us now. I can't keep putting my life on hold for the slim chance that one day she's going to have a change of heart. I don't think I'm ready for another R just yet but maybe I will get there in the end. In the mean time I'm just going to have to continue being the best dad I possibly can be and keep treating my W with respect.

I've had an opportunity over the last couple of days to see my W at her most vulnerable again. I had to take some time off work to look after Wee Man because my W has come down with swine flu. The set-up we have at the moment with child care really does seem to work and we can get along fine. I now know however that getting along fine is not necessarily an indication of rekindled feelings. Still, we have to get along for the sake of Wee Man so that's just what we're going to do. It's his second birthday next month so we'll be having a bit of a party for him which we'll obviously both be at. It's hard to believe that it's going to be the first thing we've done with him together in nearly 9 months.

I've accepted the fact now that my M is truly over. It still hurts but I'm sure that will heal in time. At least I'm not going to be getting my hopes dashed any more. That made life harder all round. Maybe this is the true letting go of the rope that I should have done a long time ago.

Kev