Hey GIMA - no, I don't think you're a smarta$$, everything you said is fine. I'm not here to be "right" or defensive, I'm seeking input. So thanks.
I do think that I did learn and change quite a bit from the experience in 2003. W has commented several times that I'm much different than I used to be. And I think that we were both happy with the M for many years afterwards.
It's been a source of sorrow for my W that she doesn't retain relationships. I've seen this happen multiple times where she gets involved in a group, makes friends, then something happens, and she shuts down and moves on. Could be a pattern she developed in childhood, whatever - but she's observed this in herself, this "push away" or "sabatoge" behavior. All I know is that when this happens, and people react negatively, it's done. So I've learned this "I won't reject you" behavior.
W has always had this sort of sadness, or need, or something. Maybe baggage from a rough childhood. She tried to hurt herself in her late teens, and she's been on anti-depressants since 2003. I hope this doesn't sounds like gobbleygook, and I'm not fingerpointing either. I know I've been preoccupied the last several months. But every relationship she has seems to be eventually tinged with disappointment, and she exits. That's the pattern I see. And the thing I've learned to do is not reject her in turn.
OK, you're probably going to throw a brick or something at me now. Go ahead.
