The beginning or the end of my rope????

[Annieg]

Thanks hopeinwaiting...reading DR and now DB does give me hope. I know I don't want it to end and so "changes" changing the status quo between us would be a bonus but it isn't necessarily my main goal...I can't go back to the way it was...it is too hard to remember the happy times because they are overshadowed by the lonely, unhappy times...the missed moments and I have realized that it wasn't his responsibility to make me happy, it was, is and always will be mine...I should have done more...maybe touched that arm, or cheek...not held onto anger for so long...there are many things...it doesn't matter what his actions/reactions were...it was up to me to not let that control mine but I did and so here is where I am and I have to now take responsibility for my happiness because even if there is a R in the future we will only travel down the same path again if I am not happy with myself and vice versa. I hope, I pray but I am learning very quickly not to let it control my life, I guess in part because I understand where he is in some ways...just not all ways...we made a promise, I don't intend to break it just yet.

I thank you again and "hope" right along side you.