I don't want to say this stuff to you, and I really hope that this stuff doesn't scare you from posting here more but I agree with MAC and SD.
I too have an intuition of sorts, and the when I read about the first break in attempt, my bells and whistles started going off. Ok so H has moved the Hi-Fi stuff out. Suggested insurance scam. NO NO NO. Then person returns when you are alone. Most times they don't knock, and rarely return to scene of crime. But instead of trying to comfort you H is trying to scare you more. Yes I would be looking for a reason for it too but not in that way.
Honey, call the police, with all of the emails. This is just too much coincidence. Although I don't know if I have the feeling that you will be hurt physically, I do feel that your H is either trying to scare you, or is simply taking advantage of a scary situation. But either way, it is important to protect yourself however you have to. Just because he says he is going to drive the estate, don't assume he will. And check the car before you get into it. Something just isn't right with the whole situation.
Just keep going and I'm glad you have read the resources. Hey, this might just be the perfect excuse for the laptop. You don't want to lose your stuff and can bring it to work with you. Just a thought.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
Thanks so much for checking up on me, couldn't go on computer last night, so here I am this morning (6am Melbourne time).
I am taking extra care, unfortunately here our police have the least powers in the world, the police have told me that as unfair as it is they can't do a thing, not until this person does something to me. Because my suspicions are just suspicions they can't investigate anything. Our laws here protect criminals more than victims. I know this is all bizarre even the security guard said that yesterday, found it all odd.
I have to remember to press the panic button next time this guy turns up even if he is only knocking on the door. Security said to just push it and they will be there immediately.
In any case, I will keep going, hoping things all work out.
I did last night bring up the subject of where we are going to live last night.
Followed SD's advice and approached it from the angle of we have to move in 2 weeks and even though would love you to be with us, if you don't want to that is okay but I need to know so that I can arrange for somewhere for D and I to go to. I said it in a gentle non confronting manner, no anger or anything, no begging.
He just looked at me and then got all sad looking again and sat there staring as though his thoughts were somewhere else. I then got up and went about doing some things that had to be done.
He has said nothing since.
Picking up the boxes for packing today, then getting my hair done just for the hell of it. Hopefully going to dinner with friends. He has taken a change of clothes with him this morning, so he is obviously heading to the pub after work with mates I think but who knows.
Now this is what happens when I can't talk on the computer for a night, I have too much to say the next morning.
Quick question, I know we have been asked to breakfast with his Jet Ski family as he calls him on Sunday morning. He does not know that I know this.
If he asks me if I want to go (not sure that he will) and I decide to go, do I act all normal around him, talk etc? It is going to be uncomfortable because I don't know how much they know, two of his "single party animal" buddies are part of the group, the ones he wants to do all this super fun single guy stuff with that he has gone on about.
Or do I opt out and do something myself. Or go and show him the person he will be missing out on?
Hey Cas, I forgot to say, I will seriously think of getting a computer of my own, that way I know that my private stuff will remain that way, after all he has his private things that I can't look at.
In fact when I think about it, most things H does are secretive, locked car hidden key, locks phone in car, never really know where he is (always been like this) or who he is with, the list goes on.
Funny though, he always likes to know where I am or have been and who with.
Oz, I agree with Mac. Go to breakfast and enjoy the company of the others as best you can. Try to keep friendly and upbeat.
My H was secretive and I was suspicious. I just didn't trust my own intuition as I should have. I don't think I had confidence in my own judgment. Like your H, my H has always been a little evasive and 'mind his own business' like. We've always contrasted cos I'm quite honest and upfront.
Go to breakfast and Act As If. You are funny, charming, FABULOUS. Your H may get all scowl-faced, and if he does, just ignore it.
I was actually in a situation like this when my H and I were at this place, and I remember having a ridiculously fun time. H was a grump, but he totally noticed...and remembered.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
I will do that, go to breakfast and act as if, I will do the same for dinner tonight, if he chooses to join in that is his choice but he will not bring my mood down.
I have always been the contrast to my H as well, open, honest, upfront no secrets, he the exact opposite.
Feeling a bit better today, not down like yesterday. Have picked up the packing boxes, had my hair done and it looks hot if I do say so myself, going to do a bit of housework now and then have coffee with some girlfriends.
am going to start being thankful for what is good in my life at the moment, not much, but I will be thankful for it just the same.
