What is going on with the finances if you want to share a little.
If it is not a super major thing, maybe just try leaving him a note or leaving the bill out and a note. If it is a bigger deal, well sweetie, good luck. Pray about it and you will be surprised that the right words will come. Don't forget to pray that he has God's ears to be able to hear what you are saying.
Someone recently used a phrase regarding H's thinking pattern that has sort of stuck with me. She said that "the lens he is looking through is foggy so he thinks it is other people who are not being clear, but really it is him who is seeing things unclearly but he doesn't realize it". We all talk about the fog but I never really thought about it that way, and that explains why sometimes he seems so certain and confident, but he really isn't.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
FG - Thanks for the encouragement.:) Yup, it is a lonely place to be. I hate that I don't have H as my "friend" anymore, although things are easing a bit and I can share a bit more of the day to day with him now, because he actually ASKS occasionally.
That water off a duck's back thing has been a lifesaver for me and my psyche. The good thing is that it is translating into all areas of my life, not just in regards to H and any spew. My worrier tendencies have dissipated (at least somewhat - still a daily struggle) and I can let so much more go now. It is certainly a better way to live! I think the kids are enjoying me taking things more lightly and not losing patience so fast with them, too.:) A win-win situation.
With the finances it is more of a reeling him in a bit and trying to get him to work with me and be on the same page like we used to be. I used to be able to discuss things with him and let him know where we stood but then for the past few months he didn't seem to care at all and any discussion would be me being "controlling." I will turn it over to God but it is hard because I know whatever I say may very well go in one ear with H(if it actually makes it that far) and out the other.
Over the past few years due to H's busy work schedule I have gradually pretty much totally taken over the finances and I see that as a God thing, and one of the many ways I see things laid out to prepare me for what I am having to deal with now. Who knows where we would be if he was still in charge of it all!
Yes, definitely see some positives especially in terms of me. My relationship with my kids is better because I am trying hard to show extra love/time/patience, I am finally getting out there and trying to GAL after feeling "stuck" at home while the kids were small (now it is a matter of survival!), I am willing to take way more risks and try new things more than ever before, etc. See what can happen when you get SHOVED way out of your comfort zone??:)
FG, I actually completed a "man job" I have been waiting forever for H to do last night. It feels great and looks great.
I made the mistake last night of making a comment instead of keeping my stupid mouth shut and boy did that blow up in my face! Holy Overreaction, Bat Man! I got the anger, the intense defensiveness, and even pouting. Of course I didn't just walk away but had to get a couple more jabs in. He was still mad this morning. But I do really think while my comment was unnecessary it wasn't the whole cause of the strong reaction.
And lonely I am. I miss the man I used to share with, confide in, and bounce ideas off of. I do more than I had for awhile since he seems more open but still not to the extent it is anywhere near normal.
I made the mistake last night of making a comment instead of keeping my stupid mouth shut and boy did that blow up in my face! Holy Overreaction, Bat Man!
