LR, What kind of MC were you seeing? Personally, I don't think MC does much good when one of the people wants out - since I think the sessions often magnify issues...
I'm not too familiar with your sitch - but I would suggest that you do more than just try to reach a point of detachment - think of detaching more as a process, whereby you slowly start to find yourself more and more - and learn more about why it was you needed the person you had found in your W. Some of those things will be good, but some of the things you see will also point you in the right directions in terms of what you have to work on for yourself.
Is there an OM?
I figure you've already read the DB/DR books -and I think it's a good time to reread them - and to allow yourself to feel whatever it is you have to feel. If it's sorrow - allow yourself to feel it and process it - if it's fear - try to figure out what you're afraid of - and see if you can find a way to let go of that fear - which often involves strengthening your belief that you will be all right no matter what happens. I would also highly recommend you read the article about Letting Go at divorceasfriends dot com.
One thing I can say, after having been here for over a year, is that your W's word in MC are pretty standard - and when you hear her say things like that it's sometimes like you're just hearing a person in turmoil thinking aloud - the words might sound like they're said with conviction - but there's often a lot more questioning going on than one might think - which is also why it's so vital to step out of the WAS's drama - to allow your W the space she needs to process what she has to process, while you allow yourself the tranquility you need to rediscover yourself - and to know, with more assurance, that you'll be all right no matter what.
BTW...something you wrote really jumped out at me - "I am going to work tirelessly on myself to make myself better and more appealing either to her or someone else" - I think that approach might put you on the wrong path...don't worry about being more appealing to her or someone else right now - focus on making right with yourself - so that you have a healthy kind of love for who you are - achieving that kind of healthy love for oneself will make you more appealing to others - without making you subject to your needs or expectations of another person (which never makes for a healthy relationship).
