Love and sex are NOT connected for H. He is very good at separating the two, I'm not, and it's the only way you can make it in the swinging lifestyle. That's why H said I could sleep with whoever I wanted as long as I didn't fall in love with the guy, and he would do the same for the ladies. That was one of my problems with it- it was messing with my emotions. (And something else that I'm holding a grudge against in regards to our sex life- H admitted about a year ago that often he was just trying to get himself off and wasn't too concerned about my satisfaction. That was a kick in the stomach).
I'm also not very good at sharing. Jealousies have to be managed very carefully in the lifestyle, and I just hated watching H f*** another woman. That hurt like he!!, I can't do it, whereas H thought it was a turn-on to watch me with another guy. I could never wrap my head around that.
I'll admit, there were times I had fun flirting and I made a couple of good friends. That's been H's argument to get me to stick with it, but overall, the swinging lifestyle is just not for me- the pain outweighs the fun, and I prefer an exclusive relationship. How rebellious of me, huh?
