K4D Rising #4

[K4D]

So you don't know if you're even married in God's eyes, right...The only thing you KNOW have is an earthly piece of paper, right?

I do know that we were married in God's eyes. It was a valid M with witnesses in a church.

There is a M covenant that is made with God and then there is a peice of paper from whatever state you are in that says it is legal according to their state. Whether or not a state says it is legal has no authority over what the church and God say. A state can create a legal D and a legal remarriage. It is nothing more than a legal piece of paper and legalized adultery. It has no bearing over the authority of God and if you look at the bible, it is in total contradiction with what the bible says. God says to honor the laws EXCEPT when it conflicts with his. Therefore, I don't honor a decision such as that made by an earthly judge, but I will not break any laws either. It is just something I have to live by while I pray for restoration that only God can heal.

Kevin

[Serenity13]

I don't think I have posted to you before on your post Kevin, I know I have seen you on mine though...

I haven't read your whole post from start to finish I have however read the last few days and while some of the advice is harsh it is correct...

From what I have seen, you are a recovering addict (me to), you are obsessed with your W coming home (I was as well), you put her above everyone including God and your kids (guilty) and you don't take advice very well (same here)...

Guess where that will get you - No where...

About 6 weeks ago I sat in my Pastors office crying like I have never cried before...

I couldn't even catch my breath - Want to know why? I had decided the night before I was done with this life..

If I couldn't have my husband I had nothing and I was ready to end it, instead I found myself in my Church on my knees with my Pastor...

I couldn't even pray at that moment in time...

He prayed for me and stayed on his knees with me until I was done...

He called me into his office afterwards and we talked for quite awhile...

No need to go into the conversation however I see you going down this same path real quick...

At that point I didn't even think about what would happen to my boys - My main focus was my H returning home and if I couldn't have that then I wanted nothing to do with anything/anyone...

WTH kind of Mother was I at that time?

I refocused the next day...

I won't say I don't slip and horrible days because I do - we all do but you have to push towards God and stop pulling the baggage with you...

Go to Church and leave it at the foot of the cross...

Easier said then done because I am very guilty of picking it right back up, but it takes time and you have plenty of that...

Then look towards taking care of you and your kids...Let your W walk this journey on her own.

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
(Isaiah 40:31)

For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.
(Romans 8:24,25)

[K4D]

Maybe just maybe it's not man that is trying to separate it, it's God...

God created M. Jesus reinforced it. God wouldn't tear apart a M. Satan would and does every day. People choose who they want to listen to. The bible is there to see what God says. The new testament brought back the law of M being one flesh. God said he hates D. Paul said that not him, but the Lord says if a W divorces her H she is to remain single or be reconciled to him. He didn't give an exception. Even in the case of abandonment by the unbeliever which I am not and have not abandoned her, it still does not say you can remarry if that happens. It only says you are not bound to that person who abandoned you as far as your duties go.

Kevin

[K4D]

Serenity13,

I feel like that more often than not. It is hard switching mental gears to a new way of thinking. I am trying. If I wasn't I wouldn't now be going to AA and listening to Codependent No More and reading what people are saying.

I just also still pray for my M. But changing my thought process is taking more work than I thought it would. But I still have to do it anyways to be healthy for me, the kids, W, and everyone else.

I will admit, it is scary being out there in the world alone and it is lonely at times. So I pray and I am getting involved with things.

Good post BTW.

Kevin

[aliveandkicking]

Can you answer to this Kevin?

If your way is so in sync with the Lord and his plan for it, then why aren't you posting here about how gratifying it is for you to follow him? Why don't you recognize every disappointment as your loving God's method of challenging you so you can be an even better man, heck, you could be the perfect man, Jesus incarnate if you believe enough...either stick to your dogma and exemplify to us all how fulfilling and profound this path is or recognize that you are using God as a tool to escape really growing as a person and progressing. The latter is worse than divorce (if you're religious and I'm not). To do things that are destructive and nonsensical and then blame them on your allegiance to God is abhorrent and probably offensive to religious folks. You know, there are so many ways you are violating the tenets of your religion, you just choose divorce as the one that is off limits.

[Tomato]

It's over Kevin.

She isn't coming back.

It's over.

gee ..can we have one more optimist come out of the shadows please. nice comment ..who are you again sir??? are you somebody I bow to??

[volleydog]

Sure and Jesus said in Matthew 19:9 "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." THIS IS YOUR SITUATION...

I am glad you believe what you believe I really am. I just think you are a little close minded and think that God wants to fix this M. God wants you to praise Him and all he's given you...You should be thanking him for putting you through this, if he hadn't you probably still be drinking heavily.

Do you think if you did date or remarry God would love you less? Do you think it's any worse than all the sins you commit everyday? I understand what your saying it's just coming across as VERY unhealthy.

[K4D]

A&K,

I do recognize that God is challenging me and testing me right now. And I realize I fall way to often. I do realize that he has given me many great gifts and I try to remember to thank him for those gifts each day.

I'm just saying that in a world that has decieved themselves into legalizing adultery and pretending that it is M, I have no defense other than what the bible and church say on the covenant and sanctity of M and I stand by it.

Here is something I read from rejoice ministries today.

"How Do I Know God's Will For My Marriage?"
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—-his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2

Are you willing to seek the Lord to know His will for your life? Are you willing to do God's will regardless of His assignment? Choose today to pick up your cross and follow Him forever. He will never lead you down a wrong path. Imagine if you had sought the Lord at an earlier age seeking to know and do the will of God in your life and marriage. How different your marriage may have been!

"I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart." Psalm 40:8

Today, your question may be very simple. "How do I know God's will for my marriage?"

A few years before I divorced Bob, I met with our pastor. I told him briefly some of our marriage problems. I also told our pastor how much I loved Bob and did not believe in divorce. He talked to me for a little while, but then he said, "Charlyne, I feel God wants me to give you a scripture that you need to do for the rest of your life. I hope it becomes very special to you."

Well, I was deeply disappointed with him giving me one scripture, but now I share it frequently in devotionals and to many people. I did not allow the Holy Spirit to speak to my heart at that time. I had to wait until it came alive to me after our divorce. I pray that this scripture will become like manna was to the Israelites or let it be your "rhema" word for today.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I Thessalonians 5:16-18

As you seek to "know and do" the will of God may this be one of the first scriptures that you choose to memorize. The Lord does have a sense a humor with me because this scripture came alive to me at the beginning of my stand. Then the Lord gave me months later, another scripture in Philippians 4:4-9. I will let you look this scripture up, a hint: "rejoice!"

Let me share several scriptures that will help you to "know" God's will for you regarding marriage. Have you started to stand and fight for your marriage? Then you need to look up all the scriptures in the Bible about marriage and divorce. You need to read and understand them. Another suggestion, cross-reference them also.

If you were taking a college course, you would have to read a large book on the subject you are taking. You need to get serious and start reading the Bible. May I suggest you read the Bible daily, but try reading the Bible topically. The Lord will teach you a lot about different topics. You will learn how to become a strong Christian and become the wife/mother or husband/father that you need to become by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Let me start sharing a few scriptures that begin in Genesis. As you read the Bible, you will read that God created man and then God created the woman as God said "It is not good for the man to be alone." Genesis 2:18

"Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Genesis 2:22-24

So God created a woman to be the man's helpmate and loving companion. You need to learn how to "know" and "do" the will of God in your marriage. Let me have you read two powerful scriptures that will show you that God wants marriages to be all that He created marriage to be in the beginning, one-flesh and forever.

"Another thing you do: You flood the Lord's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, "Why?" It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. "I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith." Malachi 2:13-16

"Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." Matthew 19:3-9

You need to believe in the institution of marriage, the permanence, the sanctity and the covenant of marriage. There are so many different scriptures that teach us about the permanence of marriage:

"To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife." I Corinthians 7:10-11

"A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God." I Corinthians 7:39-40

"When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." Mark 10:10-12

There are many other scriptures about marriage and about husbands and wives, but today I pray that you will start the first step in "knowing and doing the will of God" by crying out to the Lord and telling Him that you want to "know" His will for your life and marriage. Will you make that first step and cry out asking Him for His direction and answers for only your life and marriage?

"'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'" Jeremiah 33:3

The only thing I disagree with here is that adultery is a reason for D and remarriage. The catholic church does not agree with the modern use of adultery as a reason to D and remarry. You can read up on why if you are inclined to do so.

Kevin

[Tomato]

How long did you and your W pray together about whether it was God's will for you to M?

She refused to pray with me for whether or not this was God's will for our M. She instead prayed that God would give her OM and take him away from his family. She said she knew it was wrong, but God already knew what she wanted so that was what she was going to pray for.

However, she said she did pray earlier on for his will, but still would not pray with me.

Kevin

you apparently mistook the Q kevin ...read more closely, you gave an answer that had nothing to do with the original q as I interpreted it.

read more closely! or else pay no attn to any of this whirlwind of inquiries and slams that you regularly receive.

[K4D]

VD,

If you are commanded to always forgive, why would you have a reason to D? Wouldn't the 2 contradict each other?

Look up the catholic teaching on adultery and D based on Matthew 19:9. I don't have time to relook it up right now and explain it as I don't remember the exact reason other than culture of the times I believe dictated that in that case it was engagement that Jesus was referring to which was considered hitched until the sacraments took place. But if you look in the rest of the gospels and later on Jesus said if anyone divorces and remarries another it is adultery. He did not give an exception clause. Now why would Jesus contradict himself? He wouldn't.

Do some research on it. Let me know what you think.

Kevin